The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD
establishes his steps.
I have always been a planner. If things don’t go according to my plan, I change my plan so that I can eventually meet up with my first plan. Well, as I’m sure you know, that doesn’t always work out. We had planned to have our kids 3 years apart, no more and no less. But God had other plans for us. With our first child, Sophie, things were easy. But with our second, Olivia, we had to work. Hard.
Fertility treatments, monthly visits to the doctor, all kinds of testing. We even got down to exploratory surgery. Then I gave up. I was done. I realized everything we were doing was MY plan. Not Jason’s. Not God’s. We stopped all treatment. It came time to schedule the surgery and I had to take a test, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want the heartbreak that came with every single test. But this time it was different. It was positive.
I called the doctor, scheduled blood work and cancelled the surgery. Everything was great until we got a call from the doctor’s office saying something was wrong with my levels. We were showing to be more than 8 weeks pregnant, not just 5. We went in to the appointment not knowing what we would find, and were shocked with what they did find…2 babies.
I was distraught. Jason was shocked. We couldn’t believe it. After all the work we put in, God was giving us 2 babies. How would we manage financially? How could I work, with probable bed rest? We didn’t know what to do.
The doctor advised us not to say anything to family or friends because there was a difference in size, so we didn’t. At the next visit we were down to only one baby. Now I was devastated. I had seen both babies in my dreams since we found out. But Jason and I had to acknowledge that God giveth, and He taketh away.
God’s plan led us to be parents of a wonderful little girl that we wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s hard to see what God has planned for us when we put our own wants ahead of his. I am so thankful for His timing and His plans. They are much better suited for me than my own.